Anything like this ever happened to you?

One of your important customers walks into your office, annoyed. You get up and approach him with a smile on your face. At this point, your customer starts to complain loudly that your company hasn’t made a delivery on time and – because of this – a key presentation couldn’t take place, resulting in lost business for him. You do your best to diffuse the situation, but nothing you say helps. Tempers escalate, and your customer storms out of the office.

It’s never easy dealing with unhappy customers, but it is an integral part of our jobs. We all need to be able to cope with the awkward and sometimes unpleasant conversations with existing or prospective clients. How we behave, how we react and most importantly, what and how we say it, can often save the situation, though. In fact, you can even end up with a better relationship with your customer than you had before.

When you encounter dissatisfaction, it’s natural to lose the motivation and the energy you have for maintaining a sales negotiation process. For you to keep the balance of power in this relationship takes stamina as well as self-restraint. To be successful in selling your products or services, you need to understand hard and soft tactics, as well as degrees of subtlety, to win the business – and dealing with demanding customers is a true test of your skill set.

I’ve highlighted seven top tips to help you smooth over potentially difficult situations, so that both parties can leave feeling satisfied rather than irritated or angry:

  1. Be patient

It’s not a good idea to be pushy and forceful when you’re dealing with a demanding customer. This just hampers any type of negotiation. What I would recommend instead is to come across as approachable and open. Let them talk without interrupting, even if you don’t agree with what they’re saying.

By listening to their issues, you’re diffusing the situation and hopefully calming down any anger they may feel. Here you can build trust and rapport, which are vital steps in the negotiation process.

  1. Show empathy

Body language is a key factor when you’re conveying empathy in a tricky conversation. Look them in the eye, be sympathetic, show that you are concentrating on them and are concerned with what they’re saying.

If you repeat back to your customer what they’ve told you, this shows them you’re listening and you understand them, especially if you use the same language they used.

My Liberating Commercial Leadership model highlights a hugely useful attitude, which comes in very handy when dealing with difficult customers. It is the ‘Attitude of Positive Regard’. Whatever is happening in front of you, maintain a positive view of the person you can see. They are unhappy and feel strongly enough to say so. So respect that, with empathy.

  1. Take your time to respond

If you’re confronted with anger, the worst thing you can do is to fly off the handle yourself. Respond to aggression with calm and quiet. Stay measured and alert, lower your voice and talk slowly yet firmly.

By using these tactics, you’re staying in control. You’re demonstrating to your customer that you can handle the emergency swiftly and efficiently, and they can then start to relax a little. Keep in mind that a state of heightened emotion can soon escalate into chaos, making negotiations far more difficult to steer – so try and avoid this!

  1. Imagine you have an ‘invisible’ audience

An effective method of calming down tense situations, is to imagine that there are others in the room listening to you. This changes your perspective and makes you think more clearly – after all, you are  a professional, and good at what you do, so behaving accordingly is a good tactic when a difficult customer becomes irate or abusive. 

  1. Agree and apologise (even if you are right)

There are times when a customer is so upset, that they can’t calm down. This is where you can use the strategy of agreement. I’m not saying you should put your hands up and agree with everything they’re saying. Try instead using phrases like “I can understand that you are frustrated” or “I can see that you are frustrated, I agree that this has caused you a problem”. This takes the negative energy out of a situation, especially if accompanied by an apology. Saying “I’m really sorry that you feel like this”, is a powerful statement. It’s an unexpected move for your customer and so you’ll find that this element of surprise – accompanied by agreement and apology – can take the anger out of the situation.

  1. Stay Calm

Anger comes from fear and will not help solve the situation. You should therefore not allow yourself to get irate if your customer’s anger level escalates. Read between the lines to get to the core of the matter, to discover what they are concerned about and what their fears are. This is not easy to do as the default reaction is often to match anger with anger. But stay calm and you’ll diffuse your customer’s confrontational manner.

A second Liberating Commercial Leadership Attitude comes in here, ‘The Attitude of Genuineness’. Be open and honest with the customer about what has happened. If the customer is wrong, then give facts, rather than opinions, emphasising that you are both looking for a solution to the issue.

  1. This is a business problem (it’s not about you)

Keep at the front of your mind that this is a business, not a personal, issue. To avoid a conversation straying into personal territory, stick to the facts and remain firm. Remember that your customer (usually) does not know anything about you on a personal level, so steer discussions back to the concern at hand and what you can do in order to solve the problem.

So, is the customer always right?

You need to remember that there is a big difference between being factually correct, and doing the right thing. Sometimes it can be a clash of personality, and all you need to do is alter your own approach to connect better.

If you approach a difficult situation from the customer’s perspective, in their eyes they are indeed right.

Use the tips above to handle a difficult situation, and you will have done the right thing, and the customer will feel it, whatever the solution, or outcome. Be calm, patient and acknowledge the customer’s frustration with a positive and genuine regard. By remaining resolutely professional you will transform a demanding customer into a raving fan.

Did you know that by understanding what type of personality you have, you can tailor how you approach sales and encourage your sales team to boost their performance?


A better connection with your team and your customers is what you can expect when you undergo my Insights Discovery Profile and Debrief. With this new knowledge you can adapt your sales pitches to suit different prospects so you can connect with customers far more effectively. This comprehensive report reveals what makes you tick and how to get the very best out of your strengths as well as minimising your weaknesses. You can use this to start to recognise the styles of your clients and prospects and ultimately to win more sales.

To complete an online Insights Discovery Profile, followed by a full debrief by phone, costs £295 +VAT. If you’d like to understand your personality more fully, to get the most out of your sales conversations, then just click here to email me or call me on 07740 290 506.